All-Dialogue Meta Flash Fiction

“What are you listening to? It sounds like techno.”
“It is.”
“It’s called techno?”
“Electronic dance music.”
“What’s the name of the band? Have I heard of them?”
“Sniffed By Kittens. No you haven’t heard of them.”
“Sniffed … what?”
“Sniffed By Kittens.”
“Sniffed By Kittens?”
“Yes.”
“What’s the name of the album?”
“Now Is The Glitter Of Our Discotheque.”
“Hmm. That’s actually pretty good. That’s Shakespeare.”
“Yes. The beginning of Richard the Third.”
“Now is the winter of our discontent.”
“Yes. Made glorious summer by this son of York.”
Pause.
“I can’t remember it either.”
“Who’s in the band?”
“It’s two people. They’re not really musicians. They’re journalists. Music journalists.”
“That’s funny.”
“Why?”
“They say writers can never come up with good names for bands.”
“I’ve heard that too. Do you ever read Stephen King?”
“I’ve read some of his stuff.”
“His band name … that he invented, was ‘Round Here.”
“’Round Here? Is that a band name?”
“Yes. I think it’s a riff on New Kids On The Block.”
“There’s a band called ‘N Sync.”
“Yes. That too. You’re pretty up-to-date.”
“That was about twenty years ago, wasn’t it?”
“Yes. But that’s still up-to-date for someone who doesn’t follow pop music.”
“What name would you come up with for a boy band?”
“Ooh. That’s a good one. I don’t know. Hold on.”
“It would have to look good on posters.”
“Okay, yes. Hold on. Give me a second.”
Pause.
“And I didn’t know you knew the term ‘boy band’. Do you watch a lot of TV?”
“YouTube.”
Pause.
Pause.
“I don’t know. I’ll have to think about that.”
“Well what’s your ideal band?”
“My ideal band would be noise metal with all women.”
“Noise metal with all women.”
“But I used to have this idea for a band called The Pirates Of The Radio.”
“Oh, no. No.”
“Just hold on.”
“That sounds terrible.”
“Just hold on. It’s the only band to consider Frankie Goes To Hollywood their main influence. They come out in these big foam rubber cowboy hats, neon—“
“No. No.”
“Hold on. And they’re terrible, and obnoxious. The whole point is that no one can be cool anymore, not truly. So the only way to be cool is to be shockingly uncool. A band like that would start a riot.”
“I see. Good name for a boy band?”
“Start A Riot.”
“That’s not a boy band name.”
“Yeah. That’s a good name for a punk band, though.”

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