Author Archives: Ian

About Ian

"The less we know of someone, the greater their merits." (Oscar Wilde)
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“it’s never true that i regret i still love you”

i still practice arguing better (giving way) as i talk to you (i wrote this to say i just did) (because i pretend you read these) (and every hit i see i pretend is yours) (there are almost none, ever) … Continue reading

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I so deeply regret that I can’t fall out of love.

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“existential claustrophobia”

love is the unconditional God, and justice is the conditional God. i don’t want the injustice of first being broken inside to later found the justice against my involuntary hate. my purpose is not supposed to be a pressure cooker’s … Continue reading

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I’m What’s Known As A “Difficult Patient”

A baffled nurse from “Africa” (the, frickin’ … continent) said to me once, “Why can’t you be grateful? You have a bed, you have food, you have medical care.” And I said to him, “Because this isn’t where I live, … Continue reading

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“i may have done my best”

i may have done my best in a blackout to fuck up your life over the phone and looked at the clock every day at 12:34 awaiting your phone call for all these years since, but there’s always the hope … Continue reading

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“Be An Optimist Prime!”

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RYM Top 100 Singles For 2016

RYM = Rate Your Music. This is the auto-generated list as of today (which, you know … I wrote it down). Radiohead – “Daydreaming” Radiohead – “Present Tense” David Bowie – “I Can’t Give Everything Away” Childish Gambino – “Me … Continue reading

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The Dracula Had An Aardvark Theory

Which, see below. I’ve started boiling situations into a +1, a 0, or a -1, and at rare instances a +2 or -2. If the President is lampooned, for instance, about a third of the people will see it as … Continue reading

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All-Dialogue Horror Flash Fiction

“You’ll have to explain that concept to me again.” “Okay. Listen. The desert is totally flat and free of obstruction between here and those mountains about fifty miles away. Not even a road. And there is no one out there. … Continue reading

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